Despite all impressions to the contrary, the family is
still strong and vibrant today. But there is no denying the crisis that
threatens it to its foundations – especially in the western world. It was
noticeable that the Synod repeatedly emphasized the significance for the
transmission of the faith of the family as the authentic setting in which to
hand on the blueprint of human existence.
This is something we learn by living it with others and
suffering it with others. So it became clear that the question of the family is
not just about a particular social construct, but about man himself – about
what he is and what it takes to be authentically human. The challenges involved
are manifold.
First of all there is the question of the human capacity
to make a commitment or to avoid commitment. Can one bind oneself for a
lifetime? Does this correspond to man’s nature? Does it not contradict his
freedom and the scope of his self-realization? Does man become himself by
living for himself alone and only entering into relationships with others when
he can break them off again at any time? Is lifelong commitment antithetical to
freedom? Is commitment also worth suffering for?
Man’s refusal to make any commitment – which is becoming
increasingly widespread as a result of a false understanding of freedom and
self-realization as well as the desire to escape suffering – means that man
remains closed in on himself and keeps his “I” ultimately for himself, without
really rising above it. Yet only in self-giving does man find himself, and only
by opening himself to the other, to others, to children, to the family, only by
letting himself be changed through suffering, does he discover the breadth of
his humanity. When such commitment is repudiated, the key figures of human
existence likewise vanish: father, mother, child – essential elements of the
experience of being human are lost.
Address
to the Roman Curia, 21 December
2012
Reflection – Well, it is
time to wade into the field of controversy again. These remarks by the Holy
Father before Christmas occasioned a fair amount of heat and not too much light
these past weeks. A group has petitioned the White House to name the Roman Catholic
Church a ‘hate group’ on the strength of them, and the chattering classes have
been… well, chattering away about the Pope and his horrible hateful words.
My take on it is to actually
present what the Pope said in full, and talk about it. And this is what I will do for the next few days or so on this blog. I call this method of
presentation ‘journalism’, which is an increasingly rare commodity in the world
today. So here we see that the Pope upholds the family as the fundamental place
where human beings learn to be human beings, by living and suffering with
others.
And what does it mean to be a human
being? To commit oneself to the task of love and laying down one’s life for
others. By entering into commitment, opening oneself up to real risk, to real
self-giving where there is no ‘escape clause’, no easy out. To open oneself up
to other people and really throw one’s lot in with them.
All of this is essential to the
nature of humanity, and to the nature of ‘family.’ And when commitment vanishes
as a real aspect of marriage and parenthood—when no fault divorce is the norm,
or common law arrangements—then the vital core of our humanity is lost.
Freedom only attains its goal when
we use our freedom to freely bind ourselves to the other in love. Freedom is
only ‘free’ when it is consummated in this binding in love. One might say, with
full Chestertonian paradox, that freedom is perfected by slavery.
It is in the family, with all its
human wounds and human imperfections and sufferings, that we learn this basic
structure of human life, that we learn that we are made to give ourselves to
the other and not take that gift back no matter what. And that is why it is so
crucial to defend and uphold the life of the family in the world today.