Be merciful
to me, my God, for my enemies are in hot pursuit;
all day long they press their attack.
My adversaries pursue me all day long;
all day long they press their attack.
My adversaries pursue me all day long;
in their
pride many are attacking me.
When I am
afraid, I put my trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
In God, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can
mere mortals do to me?
All day long
they twist my words; all their schemes are for my ruin.
They
conspire, they lurk,
they watch my steps,
hoping to take my life.
Because of their wickedness do not let them escape;
in your anger, God, bring the nations down.
hoping to take my life.
Because of their wickedness do not let them escape;
in your anger, God, bring the nations down.
Record my
misery; list my tears on your scroll—
are they not in your record?
are they not in your record?
Then my
enemies will turn back when I call for help.
By this I will know that God is for me.
In God,
whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?
in God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?
I am under
vows to you, my God;
I will present my thank offerings to you.
For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before God in the light of life.
I will present my thank offerings to you.
For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before God in the light of life.
Psalm 56
Reflection – Well, we continue our path through the psalms, at this point a
very rocky and difficult path indeed as we make our way through the ‘gloomy
50s’. Besides being intensely focused on suffering, our enemies, and the
experiences of same, the psalms tend to become fairly interchangeable at this
point, making it hard for a poor commentator who is committed to commenting on
each of them to think of something new to say each week!
But enough about my problems. There is one verse in this psalm
that leaps out at me. It is this business of ‘record my misery; list my tears
on your scroll—are they not in your record?’ One of the terrible aspects of
suffering, something that makes whatever specific thing we are going through
that much worse, is the sense of abandonment, of being forgotten by God and by
man, of being utterly alone in it.
We can take
a lot, if we know we’re not in it alone. It may still be hard, but if we have
some kind of sense of support, that someone (or Someone) has our back, is with
us in it, is truly on our side, it is endurable, doable.
When we feel
utterly bereft of that support, it is much harder to bear. And so this
particular psalm verse calls us to remember that God remembers us. For reasons
known only to Him we are left, often, to go through whatever it is we have to
go through, and this is indeed very hard, very difficult. But
He is not
neutral, not forgetful, not heedless, not uncaring of us. I like very much the
idea that our tears have been listed on a scroll somewhere, that somewhere in
heaven there is a ledger with all of our names written in it and the precise
number of tears each of us has shed in this life.
This implies
that our sufferings matter. That
there is some greater purpose, some higher meaning, something about the fact
that human beings have to go through such dreadful things (and I’m not remotely
thinking of myself here – my life has been relatively easy compared to most
people’s), something about the earth we live on being soaked with the tears of
humanity that has a heavenly import.
I can’t pull
the quote out of my early morning mind, but there is some literary quote about
us being flies to the gods who like schoolboys torment us for sport (someone
tell me in the comments who wrote that – it’s going to bug me now (no pun
intended)). But this is not the Judeo-Christian understanding of things.
Our understanding
is that, well, we don’t understand a whole lot, frankly. But that God is
intensely aware of the sufferings of his creation, of his beloved people, and
that every bit of it matters, means something, is for something. Nothing is
wasted, nothing is for naught, everything has some meaning in the kingdom of
heaven. And the suffering that most torments our minds and hearts—the sufferings
of innocent children, the terrible unjust sufferings of the most victimized and
brutalized of this world—every bit of that is recorded in heaven, everything is
known, everything is remembered, and everything will be redressed, righted,
rewarded, repaid.
And while
this answers none of our questions of ‘why’ and ‘how’ regarding suffering, if
we choose to believe it, it is some consolation at least, I believe. Some relief
as we continue our path through the ‘gloomy 50s’ of this world and their sad
song of suffering and sorrow. God knows; God sees; God will (in time) set
things right. Alleluia.
Thank you Fr. Denis. This is very hopeful.
ReplyDeleteAnd here's the quote and reference:
"As flies to wanton boys are we to th' gods.
They kill us for their sport."
Gloucester, in King Lear, Act 4 Scene 1 (courtesy of Google :) )
Ha! Thanks, Sue. This blog post is proof that I can, indeed, write in my sleep. Fully awake, I think I would have at least remembered it was Shakespeare.
DeleteThank you, Fr. Denis, I needed this today.
ReplyDeleteOh, I thought it was this one: “Some say that we shall never know, and that to the gods we are like the flies that the boys kill on a summer's day, and some say, to the contrary, that the very sparrows do not lose a feather that has not been brushed away by the finger of God.”
ReplyDelete― Thornton Wilder, The Bridge of San Luis Rey
-Anna
I'm pretty sure Wilder would have been quoting the Shakespeare reference, of course well known to him. But it is a very beautiful use of it, isn't it?
Delete